Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
