Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
