I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
