so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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