the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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