do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
