Its about making memories worth repressing
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
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