If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize