You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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