our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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