sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
