return my video game
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
