Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
