Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
