I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
