i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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