Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
