You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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