? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
