PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize