My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How external is "for external use only"?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
