She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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