And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Panties = found
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
