I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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