hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
