my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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