some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
