party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
