There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
