I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
