i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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