Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I want to kish your cheek

(248): View more from Michigan

My cheeks are in Michigan

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours

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(714): View more from California

we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.

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(231): View more from Michigan

A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?

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