Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just want to make out with him forever
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize