why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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