bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
