I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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