The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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