Just fell off a train. Bad.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
