So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
