Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
