belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
where am i from again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
