Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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