i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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