i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
