dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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