i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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