Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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