she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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