i just identified you from a description of your pipe
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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