I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize