how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
