This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
