Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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