There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
