i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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