ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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