she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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