and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
