So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
