I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
